The faster you go, the shorter you are.
- Albert Einstein
I got infected with Omicron in the 3rd week of coming to Singapore.
On Saturday night, I felt some symptoms of rhinitis when going to bed, but I didn't think it was an infection; on Sunday morning, because I had a few meetings scheduled, I tested myself using a nucleic acid self-test kit that I previously bought from Watsons.
With a sense of responsibility towards others, I basically test myself before meeting people, making it feel like taking a pregnancy test every day～
The test showed two lines, so I quickly took another brand of self-test kit and did a cross-check test, which again showed two even clearer lines. This confirmed the infection.
After realizing I was infected, I suddenly felt unwell; first, I canceled all the meetings I had scheduled for the next week, then I began to rest and recover.
It's been a long time since I've had a cold or felt unwell.
I'm always on edge, worried that I'm not being efficient enough.
When I'm in good physical condition, I'm always in a state of FOMO, even timing my sleep, worrying about not getting enough rest and affecting my thinking efficiency during the day; and also worrying about sleeping too much and wasting unnecessary time.
When I'm sick, I sleep like crazy, and when I wake up, I read some light, non-nutritious books. Although there is still a bit of internal struggle and guilt, I allow myself to slow down for a few days.
I've always pushed myself to run in a fast-paced world.
Every time I make a breakthrough and progress in business, I would invite our investor Yuan to tell me about the impressive young people and entrepreneurs he has recently met. By looking at other more excellent individuals, I feel a sense of urgency, which pushes me not to linger on these small achievements.
Whenever I feel proud, I always remember what Brother Cong told me: running a startup is like being the service provider. The employees you can hire are the best ones you can find under your current conditions, and you need to retain top talents; your customers and users are the only way you create value, and the customer is king; the platform is the guarantee for the company's survival, so you must closely align with it; your service providers are also your clients because you hope they can offer services with higher ROI. So I constantly remind myself, as the service provider, am I doing things properly? Am I keeping a peaceful mindset?
When good things happen, I constantly remind myself that there might be hidden crises; when bad things come, I remain calm instead, believing these are stress tests. Anything that doesn't kill the company will make it go further and higher in the future.
When a brother company encounters a stroke of luck, aside from genuinely being happy for them and gaining a wealthy friend, I don’t think the same good fortune will happen to my company. A company’s success cannot rely on luck. Conversely, when a brother company faces difficulties, I always worry if we were to encounter the same situation, could we handle it? Would the money in our account be enough to sustain us? Would the fixed costs at that time put too much pressure on the company?
The psychologist told me that in the village, there were two very tall trees (not jujube trees). One young man wanted to see the most beautiful scenery, so he climbed one of the trees leisurely, lightly, and quickly, and saw the afterglow of the sunset. Another young man quickly climbed the other tree because there was a tiger below chasing and biting him, so he desperately climbed upward. In the end, he also witnessed the grandeur of the setting sun.
One person because of curiosity; one person because of fear.
I think I am more the latter, I worry about not letting the team earn money, worry about not letting investors make money, worry about disappointing the people around me, worry about poor experience from the other side, and worry about being criticized as not good enough.
So I have been crazily climbing trees, afraid that fear will overwhelm me.
When I was sick, I put my fear aside and felt justified to rest for a few days.
During the second psychological counseling session, I told the psychiatrist that I always live too rationally, too efficiency-driven, and too result-oriented. But, I don't know how to change; or whether I should change.
The psychologist told me that, in fact, the moment you decide to see a psychologist, you might have already made some changes.