I don't usually save many photos, but I downloaded Google Photos to find an old ID photo. It ended up syncing all my photos from the past decade or so. Then I received a notification: "Ten years ago today."
Ten years ago, my grandma was almost 80 and suddenly wanted to learn the piano, so she started learning. By the time the photo was taken, she could already play a few songs with both hands. On the side was my grandpa singing (it's my grandpa, not my maternal grandfather, who also lived with us at that time), and my grandma accompanied him. Seeing the photo brought back a flood of memories.
My grandma is a very cool person.
My grandma was an only child. Her father, my great-grandfather, drove carts for a living, and the family was poor. But he still insisted on sending my grandma to school until she graduated from high school. My grandma was also an athlete in school, specializing in hula hoops (this sport doesn't exist now; it was mainly to train pilots who could perform various rotations). At 85, my grandma could still do forward bends with her palms on the ground. She also had a very outgoing, optimistic, and fearless personality, which might have a lot to do with her athletic background.
After graduating from high school, she became a teacher at a primary school. Later, she heard that middle school teachers earned more, so she applied to teach at a junior high school. She studied the teaching materials the night before and gave lectures the next day. She was also a workaholic, always staying at school and only going home to eat a quick meal. During that time, she often ate stir-fried green peppers and potatoes cooked by my uncle, which ruined her stomach. For decades after, she couldn't touch spicy food without getting a stomachache.
At that time, my grandpa worked in Tangshan and couldn't transfer his job back home. After multiple unsuccessful attempts, my grandma went to Tangshan alone. She didn't know anyone at first, but she found organizations and built relationships, eventually solving the job transfer issue. The following year, the Tangshan earthquake occurred, and my grandma said she saved my grandpa's life.
After retiring from the school, she had nothing to do at home, so she boiled tea eggs and sold them on the street. One of her former students passed by and said, "Teacher Sun, this is too embarrassing! You've been a teacher for so long, and your son is a big boss (my grandma's only son, my uncle, does pretty well in business), how come you're selling tea eggs on the street?" Unlike in the south, in many places in the north, people still think having an iron rice bowl or being a civil servant is good, and doing small businesses is a loss of face. My grandma didn't care what he said and replied, "I like it. What's wrong with making money?"
After my grandpa passed away, many people introduced potential partners to my grandma. She firmly refused, emphasizing how comfortable it was to be alone. When she was young, she never saved money (a trait I definitely inherited from her), but in her old age, she started saving. I was puzzled and asked her why she had changed such a lifelong habit, telling her that my uncle and I could provide her with money anytime. My grandma said, "You don't understand. As you get older, people start to dislike you. In the future, whoever comes to see me will get a red envelope from me, and then everyone will come to see Grandma."
My grandma is a very caring elder.
I was born in a small northern city, where there was still a preference for boys over girls in the 1980s. Because my mom had a daughter, her mother-in-law's family was very unhappy. My grandmother would call me "little kun" (a local insult for girls in the north); but my grandma always said, "Girls are the best, their mother's little cotton jacket. Your mom is the happiest for having you, and you're no worse than any boy." So, I grew up being relatively ambitious, always striving not to be outdone by any boy.
Once when I was little, my parents were arguing and talking about divorce. My grandma went over to mediate. Of course, the main principle was to reconcile rather than separate, so she kept trying to make peace. At this point, my grandpa said, "Grandma, you must persuade Mom quickly. Look, you have three daughters, two of whom are already divorced. If this one gets divorced too, it wouldn't look good" (when I was a kid, divorce was considered shameful in our area). My grandma slammed the table and stood up, pointing her finger at my grandpa and saying, "Because of what you just said, this divorce is set. I don't care what others say; my daughter cannot suffer injustice."
In junior high, I did well in competitions and received admission notices from several high schools. My mom let me choose which one I wanted to attend. Most of the schools were the best in the area, but only Nankai High School required a yearly fee of over 10,000 yuan for non-local students. This amount was basically the average annual income in our small town. I was a bit worried about adding too much burden to the family, but my grandma told me, "Don't worry, your grandma can support you financially. Wherever you want to go, we'll go."
I once brought my girlfriend home and told my family that I might not like boys. They warmly welcomed my girlfriend; later, when we broke up, I switched back to dating men. My grandma told me, "Boyfriends are better, mainly because I'm afraid you'll work too hard. The women around me have all had terrible fates and lived tough lives. I don't want you to suffer like that." Although she has her own value judgments, whenever I made any decision, she chose to support me unconditionally.
Recently, when I called my grandma, the main topic of conversation with the elderly was urging me to marry and have children. I told my grandma that I still choose to focus on my career and don't want to waste time on family matters. I may not settle down, not wanting to get married or have kids. But I plan to freeze my eggs just in case. The next day, my grandma specifically had my aunt send me a WeChat message saying that as long as there's offspring, she'd be reassured. Take care of yourself more.
In these few years of entrepreneurship, I rarely go home or call home. One reason is that I left home at 12 to study in a rural boarding school and got used to independence; I'm also very afraid of the feeling of meeting and parting again, because during junior high school, every month when I returned home was a torment, leaving home and returning to that hellish school. Another reason is that entrepreneurship really consumes a lot of energy. Basically, all my efforts are focused on how to make the company successful, and I truly have no extra energy to focus on anything outside of entrepreneurship. Although after the financing in 2016, the company had ample cash reserves and hasn't struggled much with survival issues, every year brings different concerns: starting the company in 2016-2017, localizing overseas operations in 2017-2018, developing a second growth curve in 2018-2019, transitioning the business in 2019-2020, and scaling up in 2020-2021. If there's a year I can catch my breath, it's this year, thanks to Brother Cong handling all the business affairs, allowing me some time to adjust and explore new directions. But after thinking things through, I'll have to enter battle mode again, and probably won't have time to care for my grandma. She had cataract surgery, has knee pain, and sometimes gets pneumonia. She's 90 years old now, with many minor health issues. But she still accepts these pains well, living with the most open, optimistic, and peaceful attitude.
I was born in a small place, went to a boarding school in a rural area at 12, attended high school in another province, and then became one of the few people from our area to get into Peking University. After graduating from university, I worked as a salesperson in a traditional company for a year, helping the boss set up the Shanghai branch; then I crossed industries to become an engineer at a mobile internet startup, then transferred to Google, and transferred again to work overseas. Later, I resigned and returned to China to start a business, growing from one person with a computer to a valuation of billions (the price of the last round of financing TS). Of course, I firmly believe that the current company is just beginning and has great potential to become a truly excellent company, and I hope to have the opportunity to create a great company. Along the way, I've basically been exploring outside my comfort zone, entering a new environment, a new place, and a new field, experiencing confusion, loneliness, unease, and fear. Throughout the journey, the financial, social relationship, and judgment advice support provided by my family has been very limited. But my grandma and family gave me two invaluable treasures: unconditional trust and the freedom to make choices as I wish.
It's always easier to do what the majority does: be a good student in school, seek a good career development in a foreign company at work, start a profitable business when starting a business, find a reliable husband at the right age, and have a few babies at the appropriate time. Although doing these things well requires a lot of wisdom and effort, they are still easier choices. However, when you have enough mental strength, you can also choose to be a minority. Follow your heart and say "no" to things you don't like. Thank you, Grandma, for giving me the courage to say no.