Iam not a feminist, mainly because I am usually quite careless about gender labels, and I have never felt that I have been treated unfairly as a female entrepreneur.If there is any differential treatment at all, it is more often than not in the form of preferential treatment:In the technology field, there are fewer female CEOs and independent founders, so they are more likely to be remembered and can access some high-quality, scarce resources.
However, after attending Racheal's Podcast last time, where she mentioned some gender stereotypes she has experienced as a female entrepreneur, I started paying a bit more attention. I realized that these do exist. Recently, there have been a few small incidents, which I will summarize and share with you:
Last week, I chatted with investor S. We are both long-time mutual friends of W classmate. During the conversation, he sincerely expressed his joy for his friend and remarked, "Look at W classmate, her entrepreneurship didn't delay anything." I was a bit stunned, realizing that he meant W met a very nice boyfriend during her entrepreneurial period, later got married happily, and had a son and a daughter. After exiting from her business, she moved overseas with her husband, and their family of four is very happy.
That evening, I had a meeting with another investor J, who sighed and said, "You've sacrificed a lot during these years of your entrepreneurship." I was again taken aback, realizing that he was referring to my current single status, during which all my time, energy, and attention were focused on the startup company.
Both of these investors have lived overseas for many years and possess very open-minded and broad-minded thoughts. I countered them by asking: Why does a female entrepreneur having a happy family count as not being delayed? Why does not having a family mean sacrificing a lot? Conversely, we rarely seem to focus on this aspect of male entrepreneurs. At most, when Elon Musk changes girlfriends/wives again, we discuss it as gossip news; nor do we think that having eight children means not delaying his entrepreneurship.
From my perspective, W classmate enjoys the thoughts and happiness brought by her marriage and children's growth, and I am particularly happy as a friend; if she had continued to start businesses at that time, expanding her career, enjoying the different understandings of the world brought by the ups and downs of the company, I would also be very happy for her as a friend. These two things are not contradictory, whether or not one has a marriage or a career is not important. What is important is that one can accept oneself, continuously improve oneself, and reconcile with oneself.
In certain cultural business environments, women often appear as accessories. When a man brings another male friend to an occasion, no one would think there is any kind of romance between them; but when a man brings a girl, people would assume she is probably his girlfriend. It's easier for men to become familiar with each other, having shared experiences like carrying guns together or competing in games, gradually becoming commercial partners. In fact, we female entrepreneurs can also form equal, mutually beneficial, and win-win cooperative relationships with others without seeking cooperation by clinging to powerful individuals. Not to say that clinging is wrong, but considering the cost and opportunity cost of serving such individuals, as well as the uncertainty of these individuals themselves and the unpredictability of the relationship with them affecting expected returns, overall, the cost-effectiveness of clinging may not be high. It's more important to be self-reliant and become the powerful individual ourselves.
I usually don't write much about gender issues because they haven't really caused me too much trouble. However, this time I want to say a few words, hoping that more female voices can be heard. I once thought that the current political correctness in the U.S. was a bit excessive and consumed too many attention resources of the public. But later, when chatting with Jack, he believed that the voices of minorities should be louder to ensure that their rights are truly taken seriously.
That's how this essay came about.