Today, Paula shared a newsletter by Tony Robbins, and one sentence in it really inspired me:
Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear. A decision you make can change the course of your life forever.
I remembered a story my psychotherapist told me when I first started seeing her in 2021:
At the entrance of a village, there were two tall trees, and two people were climbing them. One person was climbing hard because there was a tiger chasing her below; if she didn't climb fast enough, she might lose her life. The other person was driven by curiosity; he wanted to see the beautiful scenery at higher places. Although both were doing the same thing, their mindsets and experiences were completely different: one was driven by fear, while the other had a mindset of curiosity and exploration.
Of course, the person being chased by the tiger might unexpectedly discover more beautiful scenery halfway up. At this point, her inner motivation may become stronger, driving her to continue climbing and experience the most beautiful sunset. As I grew older, I gradually let go of the fear in my heart and began to focus more on intellectual challenges. In terms of attitude towards material things, I slowly formed my own views.
My philosophy teacher once shared his views on materialism. He pointed out that when facing material things, we have two attitudes to choose from:
Pursue the ultimate enjoyment within your capabilities and continuously improve conditions and experiences; Or, treat material possessions more flexibly. The teacher gave an example: although he can distinguish between good tea and ordinary tea, he doesn't need to drink the best tea every day. Normally, he casually drinks regular tea bags with some added flavor, but when he needs to focus, such as when writing a paper, he will choose a cup of good tea. He emphasizes active control over material possessions—experiencing a high-quality life when conditions allow, but not letting material possessions dominate life. Instead, view them as tools to adjust life, not the entirety of it.
As Buffett said:
“Too often, a vast collection of possessions ends up possessing its owner. The asset I most value, aside from health, is interesting, diverse, and long-standing friends.”
I find my attitude towards material things to be the same. Compared to owning more material wealth, one can place greater value on truly meaningful parts of life: intellectual challenges, as well as exploring and expanding the boundaries of knowledge and cognition.
Inward
The German philosopher Heidegger, when translating Laozi, explored the importance of the "Axial Age" thought: he believed that as a kind of existence, human beings are extremely prone to get lost in daily trivialities.
The principles in our common sense are self-evident and easy to understand, but the prejudices formed in growth and learning, as well as the drive for personal interests, often blind us, making us overlook these common senses. However, in the pure society of the Axial Age, people had fewer distractions and could more intuitively perceive the truths of life. In this pure state, the wisdom of different people and different disciplines tends to converge at a higher level.
I once read an article by Huang Zheng where he recalled his feelings during dinner with Buffett: the principles Buffett talked about were very simple, even words so plain that his mother could understand. The greatest significance of this meal for Huang Zheng was that it made him deeply realize the power of simplicity and common sense. Human thoughts are often polluted by complexity and noise, and returning to simplicity is true wisdom.
In a neuroscience book, I learned why birds can fly: because jumping, flapping wings and other actions have already been encoded in their genes, flying is actually just awakening these memories. Connecting these things together suddenly made me understand what Paula said to me during a hike: "In fact, all the wisdom is already contained within our bodies. As long as we calm down and observe ourselves, we can feel everything."
Yuval Noah Harari emphasized the importance of meditation for organizing thoughts in his book "21 Lessons for the 21st Century". When releasing his new book "Homo Deus", he even mentioned that he meditates for two hours every day, reconnecting with the existing wisdom and deeper connections between things through tranquility. Writer William Plomer also defined creativity as "the power to connect seemingly incoherent things." These wisdoms remind us that only by exploring inward can we truly discover the essence of life.
Outward
Last weekend, while teaching "Mencius" in the Philosophy Department at Peking University, I came across this sentence:
Zilu rejoices when someone informs him of his faults. Yu bows upon hearing good advice. Great as Shun was, he shared goodness with others, abandoning his own views to follow others', and delighted in adopting others' ideas for self-improvement. From farming, pottery-making, fishing to becoming an emperor, there was nothing that did not involve learning from others. Adopting others' strengths for self-improvement means working together with others for goodness. Therefore, the highest virtue of a gentleman is to work together with others for goodness.
At first, I thought that "abandoning one's own views to follow others'" and "working together with others for goodness" referred to a spirit of self-sacrifice—giving up one's own interests to achieve for others. However, after studying this topic in the last class, I realized that these two phrases have a much deeper meaning:
：It is not self-sacrifice, but putting aside one's original understanding to learn from others' strengths and make them one's own.
：This means not only being good at learning from others, but also practicing kindness together with others (enjoying learning from others), and progressing together.
Mencius's words reveal that the true way of a gentleman lies in broadening one's mind, being good at accepting others' strengths, and being willing to pursue good deeds with others. This "being kind to others" is not a simple act of altruism, but an interactive growth and learning process, reflecting a gentleman's pursuit of wisdom and respect for others. In Frankl's autobiography, there was a mention of a similar study group.
Look far ahead
Sometimes, it's hard for us to get out of a difficult situation on our own, but we can review the present from the perspective of the future.
Gao Xiaosong's mother once said that sometimes we fall into a deep pit and feel that this obstacle is hard to overcome. But if we look at it from the roof, it's just a small puddle; and if we look down from the height of the moon, the whole earth is nothing more than a smooth sphere.
Likewise, when we face great setbacks and still find it hard to free ourselves despite trying to stay aware and calm, we can try asking ourselves:
This kind of "thinking far ahead" helps us to see the present from a long-term perspective, reminding ourselves that the current difficulty may just be a small interlude in the journey of life. In the river of time, many of the confusions we face now will fade, allowing us to face life with greater composure.
Upward
Many times, our confusion stems from only looking at problems from our own perspective. If we can transcend ourselves and examine issues from a "non-self" perspective (what Buddhists refer to as "no-self"), many things will become clearer.
), suggesting that leaders gradually lose some critical psychological abilities over time, especially their capacity for empathy towards others' emotions. This is because when a person becomes overly self-centered, they find it difficult to empathize with others, leading to a state of self-isolation.
Once we have power, we lose some of the capacities we needed to gain it in the first place.
-- “Power Paradox” by Keltner
One effective way to break free from the confines of self-centeredness is to think like a scientist. In fact, natural evolution does not have absolute distinctions of superiority or inferiority, or high and low; there is only "survived" and "did not survive." By viewing life from a grander perspective, we won't be bound by a narrow sense of self.
As Einstein said:
"A human being is part of the whole, called by us 'Universe,' a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for only a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
With the help of this "upward" perspective, we can view issues from a broader level of cognition and emotion, transcending the narrow self, and achieving true inner freedom.